Dear Matt,
What I would do to see you right now. I’d love to talk to you and try and get deep into your soul and understand more about you. I don’t feel like I was able to spend time with you the last few years of your life with us. I wish everyday and I could make up for that but I hold on to the things that I do know.
I know that you love people. I know that you are kind hearted and love to make people feel special. I know that you stick up for the ones that need a friend. I know that when I was growing up, you made me feel special and talented. You encouraged me and helped me find confidence in myself. You even helped me dress cooler! Now that’s something a good brother would do. I know that you cared for me and wanted me to make good decisions. I remember you were in tune with the things I was doing. One time you even started accusing me of being anorexic at the dinner table because I was not eating enough. It was so funny. I simply wasn’t hungry and you were going to make sure that was the real reason I wasn’t eating more. I know that you loved to have fun. I know that you loved your family and I really know that you loved to be funny and especially make people laugh. You loved to be different. You loved music just as much as I do. I remember you would take your radio into the shower daily to “rock out” to your music that was loud enough for the whole house to hear on any floor. You loved the outdoors and most recreational things you could do in it. You were simple to me. You were someone who didn’t need a lot to be happy. Someone who found fun in life anywhere.
I don’t know the reasons why you were taken so soon. But I do know that you are in a better place and your memory is close to my heart. I will hold onto it until I can see you again. I will take what I know about you and try and be better myself. I will honor your memory and your life by always trying to personally, spiritually and emotionally progress with each year that passes. One thing that you taught me is that life is something that we can’t take for granted. I will try to more honor my own life and those I love who are still with me right now.
You were always the one encouraging me to have a music career. I can’t say that I accomplished that task but I started taking guitar lessons and wrote a song for you that has helped me in many ways. I always thought that you would be the one to help take me further musically. What I didn’t realize was that even now, although you are beyond they veil, you have done that exact thing. When I wrote this song for you, I found hope, courage and confidence in myself and my abilities. My heart was aching and I found hope. In more ways than one.
I love you and I miss you. I’m excited to see you again and tell you about the happiness that I have found in my life because I know that you would be genuinely please to hear of it. You are extremely missed.
You’re Still Here
I can’t find the words, to say what my heart is feeling. I still hurt.
They say, that time will heal a heart. I keep on waiting for that to start.
I cry, every time I see, something that only you would find beautiful like me.
You left, way to soon and I, I do not understand but I will painfully try, I will try. I’ll painfully try.
When life, just seemed so hard to bare. You could always find a smile and peace anywhere.
Last night, I saw you in my dreams. Now I know that you are still watching over me, over me. You’re watching over me.
You’re still here, I hear you
You’re still here, I feel you
You’re still here; I know you’re still right here.
You loved to sleep under the stars. I look up and all I feel is that you’re not far.
The clouds, they circle in the sky. I feel you are close as the wind flowing by.
You are, the sunlight on my face. I feel your warmth everywhere, almost like your sweet embrace.
And then, when we shall meet again. I will smile and say the things that I should have said, should have said. When we meet again.
You’re still here, I hear you
You’re still here, I feel you
You’re still here; I know you’re still right here.
You’re still here, I hear you
You’re still here, I feel you
You’re still here; I know you’re still right here.
I, can’t find the words, to say what my heart is feeling, I don’t hurt.
Love, Your sister Jen
Jen,
ReplyDeleteLove love love the song, wish I could hear you sing it! I still think of him everyday. I have pictures all around my home of he and I together. I will never forget my Matty and can not wait to see him again! Thats for shareing this with everyone. All my love, Elizabeth Mashburn
I was reading my scriptures tonight and took comfort when reading about Jesus Christ. In the Book of Mormon, in Mosiah 16:7-9 it reads:
ReplyDelete"And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.
But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.
He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death."
I am so grateful to know that Jesus Christ rose from the dead after he was crucified. I know that he has broken the bands of death for all who have died, including Matthew, and all, one day, shall be resurrected just as our Lord. It is a gift for all mankind! The more I learn, the more grateful I am to our Savior for all he has done for us.
Ether 3:14: "Behold, I am he who was prepared from the foundation of the world to redeem my people. Behold, I am Jesus Christ. I am the Father and the Son. In me shall all mankind have life, and that eternally, even they who shall believe on my name; and they shall become my sons and my daughters."